She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
