Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
