Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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