no, he came in my armpit
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Shame - the story of my life.
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