Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
