we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
