sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Where is the hickey?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize