:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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