return my video game
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
