Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
