how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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