Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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