That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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