You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
