Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
