How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
