On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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