i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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