Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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