Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize