You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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