He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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