you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
