I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
