your room smells of hookers.
And success
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
