This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
