Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize