my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
