dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
