Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
it's like heaven, but drunker
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
