At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
