I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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