Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
