he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize