He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
did i just pee glitter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
