She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
