I don't usually arrange sex via text message
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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