My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
