i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
