shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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