what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
