I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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