HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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