you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
