I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize