well I can't set my house on fire every night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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