the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
