Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
