yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize