can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
