I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
