I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize