Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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