So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
