Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
