a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
