I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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