your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
